I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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