I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
