Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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