Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
