i think my tv is drunk
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
