there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
