i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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