i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
