I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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