He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
