I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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