Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
