I didn't shave. On purpose
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Found the puke drawer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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