oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
