We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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