If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
