Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
