I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just cut my nipple shaving
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
