great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
