is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
