She is in my trunk
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
