i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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