Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
