Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i believe in u and ur pee
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
