That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
