Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
