it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
