I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
