There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
