If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
