So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
