Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
