Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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