I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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