She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you will always have a special place in my vag
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
