just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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