I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
