Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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