I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
