you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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