We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
