I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
