I'm gonna have a badass scar
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
