I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
