Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
