I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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