Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
