Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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