she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
