She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
